We Are Shifted.

I realized only today that there are people who've signed up as followers fairly recently. You slavedrivers expect me to write more, eh? Drive me. I need it for things beyond completing college assignments and consuming daal. Yellow, unchanging, diversified forms of daal. I love daal. How could I not? Bah. Digression.

I'm surprised people want to read stuff I've written over the last 2 years and continue to. Genuine surprise but it feels nice. Thanking you'll is stupid, you aren't reading to do me a favour. But nice toh it remains. Just saying.


So yeah, there was this college assignment due for Creative Writing last October - a new blog. I kindasortamaybe cheated in that some posts on that blog were sourced from this one. It's still stuff I wrote and edited, right? Yeaaaah! Thank you. Oh but the template's happier and even though I like this url better, that's there too.. it's a direct lift and yet it isn't. Heck, I named it the same. *judges own lack of originality. decides to call it "brand loyalty". take that, bitches!*
That's where I've been posting ever since. Posting irregularly, in no more than spurts, but posting nonetheless.

Am I getting you to follow 2 blogs to slyly take up my Followers tally? Gah. I stopped checking that long back. Right when I figured I was writing mediocre things on a public forum that I don't market anyway. Feels weird but I'm learning to sell what I do. I'm selling myself! =O
And getting marked for it.
Blessed BMM.
Ask about the resume I made for Brand Communications. I feel invaded, on a certain level. Like I've been invaded, not my privacy, you read that right.


Haan so getting to the point! Fucking digression. The man I keep was right. This is the blog. Where I Doodle, college edition. On your pretty page, waiting to be "discovered", read and perhaps thought about. Feedback is always welcome. lyfbrat prompted this post and in turn lit up your Reader. Be nice.

Oh and that bit about selling stubborn in/un/non-creativity and calling it brand loyalty? Bhenchod I might just manage to survive (not stay sane) in media. I find I'm capable of thinking like them.

Anything You Want, Girl.

How how HOW do people write up articles that are wanted, even adopted?

I'm expected to hand in a few articles - I definitely want to - I sat with a superior (er, only in jest, world... then again, maybe not) to 'brainstorm', threw up a few ideas and then... forgot. I forgot what I came up with. And what I recall isn't working out :| 

Am I expected to give in 250 words of SmartArseShweta? Funny Gal variant? That's beyond me. I can turn in one line a week, upper limit.

Any serious requests, I'll do my best, slog my butt off for them, I promise. Any specifics, I can phir bhi try. "Write about whatever"? NOOO!!

Paper For Seats?

WHAAAT is this thing females have about leaving the toilet seat down? :X 

A little tap works wonders. One word. Gravity. When you lift it up you're fighting gravity. Tap and the thing will whoosh-whack-bump its way down.  Easy peasy, innit?

I don't know where this is coming from. Perhaps I'm just turning into a reverse feminist, if that makes any sense. But boss, when something bothers you all day long, you bloody well hammer keyboards about it.  Life's a series of buttons being pushed anyway. 

And anyway, why does the toilet seat in particular get to decide a guy's standing on Le Scale de Chivalrie? Toilet paper would be a better option, no? Something like this -

Roll and guy dono laapata? Nevermind... that's why the women's mags advise against monogrammed ones anyway. Unless they're Gucci dahlings! Chanel? Pooh, you're better off without them.

Roll of toilet paper still to be seen? He isn't a petty thief. Then again, maybe it's just the CCTV thrill/scare you gave him earlier.

Roll seen in place? He cares.

Ripped but diagonally? Oh just them big, clumsy fingers...

Razor sharp, horizontal line? Keeper! 

Unused? Get the noose ready, he's putting your needs before everything else! Alternatively, he could be slid off the list clearing the bottom margin some. The trick is to decide on either funda and stick with it. 

See, that's all there is to it. 

Oh and that line about life being a series of buttons being pushed was profound. And original. You just don't know kitna... :P

I Have Been Thinking

Yes, yes. About a whole lotta stuff, sab totally un-interconnected. Unconnected. Inconnected? Non-connected? Disconnected is a bad omen, leave that be. And therein lies the problem. 

I seriously need to get off this whole random post thing I keep doing. I'm willing to bet I'll label this one 'Random shit' or some such. Sure, it may or may not be what some random guy's looking for on a blog, but that's hardly my concern. I mean, he's free to go write whatever he feels like reading, right? Just that if I was doing only random posts (intentionally, that is :|), I'd feel obligated, inspired, motivated to update every 8 hours or so. Wait.. how bad would that really be?

See, this is turning into another this-that-and-nothing post. When it comes to actually isolating a topic, I'm the proverbial ant stuck in peanut butter. Proverbial? A harmless, 'friendly' black ant, at that. See again - rant, I can. Discuss, I can. Ramble, I definitely can. Consciously pick a topic and write, I probably can too, just haven't managed it yet. Which is why letter writing -throughout school, then JC and now FY, for crap's sake!- always pissed me off. It never occured to them chumps that I might not be in the mood to enlighten my useless cousin about the importance of sports just then. It never occured to them chumps that maybe, just maybe, I'd like to be mentioned in that useless cousin's will 20 years down the line. Toughen you up for life, them chumps. 

Dear Lethargy, RIP.

Dear Lethargy,

We've been friends for close to two decades now. And what a friend! What decades! What a combination, darn it! My mind's tear glossed eyes see delayed replays of the times we walked hand in hand, strolling through the park and picking berries. Okay, so that was a lie. The berries never did quite make a show. You never even moved off your lazy behind, goddamn it! As for the tears... Still. The innocence. The heartfelt disregard for the rats that raced. Excuse me while I mop up this teary mess...

Remember the times when assorted deadlines flew by and all we wanted was to hear the "whoosh!" and see the back of them? When Monday came and Sunday went but everything, from bread to bath water remained unchanged? When the family got B grade movies for dinner because the other counters were too far away? When the bed first developed persistent depressions and consequent lumps?  When the birds overdid the mango tree routine because we chose to be generous? And lethargic, heehee. Sorry.

Some would call us 'chaddi buddies', some 'langotiya yaars' and some... okay, let's not go down that road.

The essence of it all is, you've been as faithful a companion as I could ever have wished for. Never have I felt the slightest trace of treachery or abandonment. You were loyal. You were there. True blue Liverpool style. True red, I mean.

But now... but now! But NOW!!

Okay guys, cut. So we just collectively discovered I can't handle filmy dramas. And Symbi needs me to be a drawer. Artsy fartsy. Whoop de doo, Mumbai it might just be! Coming back to the drama - It's worse when the script demands that first I K-reminisce and then do an about turn and screech "Magar aur nahi... main yeh zulm, yeh bojh, yeh nainsaafi bardaasht nahi kar sakti!". System overload ho jaata hai yaar. 

The general idea was to let it be known that killing off this blog is NOT the plan. I'm gonna get back to writing stuff and regularly. Sometimes there's so much to write about that I put it away for later... other times, there's "nothing to write about".

So I hope to hit up the New Post option sometime tomorrow and give you a well-deserved dose of my gyaan. Okay, so maybe you don't really deserve it.. but whoa, big deal.

This And That. Seriously.

And hello! Plenty of updates on the academic front, none otherwise. Which is why I think this post is going to be shorter and serious-er than usual. 

Here are a few mutually unrelated observations – that’s the most I could summon up the energy to do.

• To touch the tip of an ugly iceberg, I often feel like my time in Swami’s was a waste. I feel, not think. The Iceberg Diaries will resume later.

• Leaving the kid sister behind IF Symbiosis works out will be so so tough… I’m actually considering dropping the Symbi idea entirely on the basis of that. Go ahead, tell me I’m being needlessly sentimental. Or tellingly cowardly.

• Pune is one heck of a city. Well okay, so the only thing in its favour is its dry climate. You may wither and die thanks to the heat, but you won’t sweat. What a place.

• Traffic there is crazy. Drivers go zip zap zoom, bikers are vehemently anti helmet, and pedestrians have collectively vowed not to look up. Lane concepts got bypassed by the time Shivaji arrived.

• It pisses me off that every goddamned thing in Maharashtra has to do with Shivaji or Ambedkar. Didn’t anyone else ever do anything?

• I really want to get out and meet new people. That, preferably not in a pick up bar.

• Colleges have finally figured out that selling maximum possible admission forms is the cleanest way of minting money. Forms were available in SoBo colleges minus the standard glitches. 5 minutes would be the average time. Very impressive.

• I’m getting stressed out at the thought of having to pick a stream, course and college – in that very order – and soon. Come to think of it, there are times I mess up the order prescribed. There’s engineering at one end of the pole, designing in the middle and journalism at the far end. And of course, random ‘possibilities’ keep coming to mind. Why can’t I just do everything? :/ 

• What’s even more stress inducing is that most seem to think I have made up my mind. Haha.

• If nothing else, the declaration of results pushed many people from the past to call. Or send brief, exemplarily to the point SMSes – hey how much did you score? Bugged me at first - After that there were no calls. Point is, it was good to catch up with them.

• I find it weird that people expect me to be jealous of friends who scored more than me in the 12th. Need to bop them over the head and send them off to look up the term ‘friends’. And ‘deserved merit’, if I may add to their tasks.

• Atria, Worli is boring. Give it a miss.

In case you’re still reading, I still don’t know who sent me that bouquet with a “Congrates” card after the Std 10 board results. 

So long.

Zip. Zilch. Nada.

Been five days since the naught discussed exam took place. Does the world look brighter, more colourful? Meh. Airier is all. Been sleeping more, jabbering more, online more, on the streets more… more of a slob than before, to be brief. Before the break, you’re so full of ideas… you see yourself chasing food fests and reading loads, catching up with friends and ‘doing something’, getting all artsy and going backpacking. But once the break has been flagged off, you’re lazybones reloaded. Combine that with some stubborn writers’ block and what you get is zilch. Nothing. One half of me wants to do a poll to pick a topic – that evil li’l thing! – while the other sincerely believes I should have taken up that moviemaker’s offer, auditioned or summat. Whatever’s left wants me to clean up the cobwebs.

Thing is, I’m rather okay with the decadence. I don’t really mind being a bum… except for every now and then. What I’d love to be doing right now is river rafting. What a way to wake up entirely! Had a go on the Teesta river in WB once – absolutely divine! One wild river, that. 20 minutes - You sing, you laugh, you have adrenaline pumping through you and of course, you work the oars. You bloody well work the oars. In that sense, rafting is one foolproof way of forging trust. The part about appreciating nature comes after you’re off the raft. Because really, when the alternative to singing and getting a kick out of it is thinking about how you can’t brake when the ride gets dangerously rash, you prefer to yell out jumbled lyrics. The best part is, no one's gonna notice.

Right, rafting. Upper limit on adventurous right now would be cooking up something fourth-worldly to guzzle down minus the beer. Third front : fourth front :: third world : fourth world. Get it? No, shaddup.

- - -

Ah. I figured I was rather thick skinned, all set to have ‘Bring It On!!’ emblazoned on my tee and stuff, but wow. Waking up to reactions along the lines of Tweak and Delete can do weird things to one’s epidermis. What the sun can do, you guys can too. So for the sake of my skin people, do be kind and leave comments telling me what part of the post did or did not go down well with you. A spot test is all very well since it gives out an idea about how the post was received, but it’s the comments that really let me in on what you’re thinking. No doofus, a comment doesn’t mean a compliment – anything constructive would be most welcome. So pull out your keyboards, and get your good deed for the day in place. Much thanks.

- - -

Daily dose of ramble shamble - MS Word sees ‘shamble’ and ‘shambles’ as different words. Obviously. No, I meant that in the context of what synonyms they provide, not how they’re spelt. ‘Shamble’ goes down as waddling or dragging your feet but ‘shambles’ is a muddle or a dump. And and and, ‘shamble’ is put down as a synonym for ‘shambles’. What a mess! See how shambling through the shambles of the thesaurus maker’s mind would make for difficult times? Uh, nevermind.

Have a lazy weekend. What, ideas? I freelance, sure.